The Flying Nerd and the Neurotic Nerd on what the heck to do during an 11 hour flight

NN: How am I going to handle 11 hours on the plane? Won’t I get terribly bored?

FN: 11 hours is nothing. I sneeze at 11 hour flights. 11 hours!? That’s like a nap.

NN: 11 hours is like the combined sleep I get in 2 nights, on average. I can’t sleep that long! I’m NEUROTIC!

FN: Oh right. How could I forget? Well, I’m also against drugging myself on planes (even though I often really, really need dramamine), I’m too fidgety to tuck in with a book on planes and I read too fast for trashy magazines to last very long. I’d need like 50 US Weeklies for an 11 hour flight.

NN: Let’s talk about the obvious potential solution: booze. Good idea, or bad idea?

FN: I say great idea since you’re traveling with a significant other (I’m assuming this is not just a situation that provides good company but someone to hold your hair back in case you drink too much). Alone, I tend not to drink because I have this tendency to pass out on airplanes.

NN: I got food poisoning in Brazil and it hit on a flight from Sao Paolo to Iguazu.* I puked SO MUCH. There were only Brazilians to hold back my hair. Not fun. (*This is why I do not eat seafood and never, ever will.)

FN: Ew. Okay so I think we can agree that puking can take up a good portion of flying, but I think podcasts and TV shows are better ideas. For my last long flight, I resisted watching episodes of the Layover on iTunes for weeks so I could save them for watching on my iPad in midair. I downloaded a bunch of those free TV shows on iTunes (like Undercover Boss, which actually made me cry and Kitchen Nightmares, which did not make me cry). I also had hours and hours of podcasts downloaded onto my phone: Freakonomics, WNYC’s Radiolab, Wiretap from the CBC and the Tobolowsky Files. The latter two because I like to be entertained and the former two because I like to um, learn stuff.

NN: OMG I love Undercover Boss! It made me cry, too. Specifically the Baja Fresh episode and the Frontier Airlines one. The embarrassing part is that I was at the gym. I pretended the tears were eye sweat. I like watching Pan Am on planes because it’s meta.

The kalua pig, haupia, chicken long rice and and beef stew from Ono's (726 Kapahulu Ave, Honolulu) is worth an 11 hour flight. Heck, they're worth at least a 79 hour flight.


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